The State of the Union Drinking Game

SOTU Drinking GameThe State of the Union speeches can sometimes be tedious and predictable. There will be the long list of achievements that the President wants to highlight, coupled by an even longer laundry list of things he wants to Congress to act on. They’re full of soaring rhetoric, with each president making an obvious effort to get in that one, memorable line that will be quoted ad nauseam later that night and the next day. This year however, with President Trump, things promise to be a little more entertaining. When Trump speaks, you can never be quite sure what you’re going to get. Still, there will be the usual SOTU trope: The long introduction with the President working the reception line, the call outs by the President to guests in the chamber who he thinks personify a certain virtue, or a the need for a certain pet program. The camera will inevitably cut to shots of some general or admiral when the talk turns to defense, the Supreme Court when a decision of theirs is mentioned, or the relevant cabinet secretary, whenever the speech refers to something they’ve or their department have done or might do.

Whether boring or not, make the address even more interesting by playing the State of the Union Drinking Game:

The rules are simple: Every time during the address the President utters one of the designated words or phrases, or anytime one of a few select events happen, you take a drink of your favorite adult beverage.  You must of course, be of legal drinking age to play, unless your favorite adult beverage is non-alcoholic, in that case…you’ll probably make yourself sick either way!

Take a sip anytime any President Trump says one of the magic words or phrases:

  • Fake News
  • Obstruction, obstructionism
  • Unqualified
  • Leading from behind
  • America First

…Or each time any of the following happen:

  • Protester disruption

  • A member of the audience is recognized by the President.

  • The camera cuts to the Supreme Court Justices (take an extra sip if any of them are asleep)

  • The camera cuts to Chuck Schumer or Nancy Pelosi for a reaction shot.

  • Chants of “USA! USA!” breaks out.

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Seven Things That Won’t Happen in 2018.

Happy New YearEveryone likes to make New Year’s predictions. Just to be a little different, here is a list of things that are exceedingly unlikely to happen in 2018. Although there are scores of pundits, celebrities and other talking heads who will try and convince you otherwise, here are seven things that logic and clear thinking suggest won’t occur in calendar year 2018…

  1. Global Warming. Have you been outside lately? The polar bears will be quite safe in 2018.

  2. Nuclear War. No, WWIII won’t start over a tweet, despite what the pundits from MSNBC and CNN want you to believe. (Gotta hedge a little because we’re talking about Kim Jong Un here after all. ) If it does happen it will be because N. Korea does something tragically stupid, and God-forbid maybe even gets in a single blow before they cease to exist. It won’t happen however, because President Trump calls Kim Jong Un fat or “Rocket Man”.

  3. The Taxpocolypse. Lower Taxes won’t destroy the country. On the contrary, expect more economic growth.  The promise of lower taxes has already helped the economy and should continue to do so in FY18.

  4. Immigration Stormtroopers. Democrat scare tactics are just that, scare tactics. There will be no squadrons of ICE rounding up foreigners and people of color for mass deportation. There will be no liquidation of East L.A., or South central Chicago.  Yes, plenty of illegal immigrants will be deported, after due process and according to existing law, but if you seriously believe they’re coming for you, and you’re a legal alien- well, you’re a just a little bit gullible.

  5. Venezuela: “A socialist success story”. There’s an outside chance of them becoming a capitalist success story some time in the future, but will take some doing and would probably take years. On a related note, the Che Guevara-T-shirt wearing-die-hard-leftists in this country (still) won’t acknowledge that socialism destroyed that country.

  6. A “wave election” for the Democrats. Conventional wisdom says the party that holds the White House loses Congress during the mid-terms. The Democrats have little to offer except anti-Trump sentiment. If the stock market continues to go up, and GDP growth stays where it is or increases, the public won’t have much incentive to change course. Only if the economy goes south or a major crisis arises and is bungled by the White House will the Democrats have any chance of retaking either branch of Congress. That having been said, Capitol Hill is the Republicans’ to lose.

  7. Impeachment proceedings. Since the Republicans hold Congress and probably will after 2018, Trump would have to have committed an actual high-crime or misdemeanor, not an imagined one to get himself impeached. Sorry left-leaning news media– not gonna happen, not in 2018 and probably not ever.